You're streaming WHAT?!

Today I was informed of something insane. I'm not talking casual use of the word ..I mean certifiably insane. I am going to give you some time to ponder all the possibilities that may make someone certifiably insane! When you have a few ideas, continue reading to see how close your guess was.

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A woman is live streaming her natural home birth all over the internet. Ahhh.. what?! I mean we all know how I feel about publicly showing things that should be private. I am sure, much like breastfeeding, that any kind of birth (natural or otherwise) is a fabulous& wonderful thing. I mean for one, the baby in your belly leaves which seems like sort of a big deal to me. Secondly, weird cravings& hormones start to ease off. That is about my knowledge of post-birthing things that occur, although I'm sure there's lots more. All that being said ..do you think there is ANY reason to show all your goods& intimate moments with that entire world?

I mean, seriously. This is open for discussion. On her website she says she's doing this to show that those images we have of birth (screaming, pain, etc) are wrong. Delivery isn't an emergency& it doesn't have to be painful. Sure, okay. I don't know that pushing 7lbs+ out of your special place can be anything except painful ..but I'll take your word for it. Wait. One better ..I'll sign up for your live streaming. Which I did. Why? I don't know. I probably need a hobby. Or for people to stop telling me about the strange things others do.

I'm actually dying of curiosity to see if her birth is pleasant. I'm sure most moms would say the birth of their babies was amazing but I'm not sure it's something they enjoyed the feeling of ..you know? I'm not a mom, so if any of you can tell me if I'm right or wrong, that would be great! Also what do you think of this? Oh, also I have an honest to god, serious question. A raging new trend is to have your kid in a pool (or tub or anything that holds a lot of water really). How does this not drown the baby?! Do they not breath at first or something? I must be missing an important part of understanding this because ..if the baby breathes water, that's not good. Can someone please fill me in (but spare the graphic details)?!

In my mind this is well beyond that line of what is acceptable to post on the internet. Not all experiences need to be shared with absolutely everyone.

34 but now 33..

Confused? I'm talking about the people who follow my blog. I lost a follower! This is tragic ..was it because of my 4 days without posting?! Was it because I poked fun at fat kids?! Did they breastfeed?!

So many offensive posts. So little time. Well, dear follower .. you will be sadly missed :( I'm hoping that it doesn't start some kind of trend where people just unfollow me like mad! I try to be a good blog to follow. I post clever things (if clever = mildly offensive) .. I have pretty photos from time to time (trust me. I know I suck at this) .. I post lots (unless you count the times I don't). Maybe they just didn't like that I posted about my 3 day ride of the Cabot Trail? I really have no idea. Unfollower, if for some reason you are reading my blog& read this? Could you tell me why you left! I'm so curious. I've never unfollowed a blog (I don't know how)!

Oh well. It's bright& early and my hip hurts. So does my shoulder. I'm making some eggs .. enjoying a morning with a book .. then off to the barns to take Dewey on a trail ride + give a lesson to Hilly :) I hope your Monday goes awesomely.

Halifax!

Today I woke up early to drive Karli, Puppy& Skunk to the Halifax airport.
I will miss her .. off to bigger& better things for her! Fingers crossed her piggies survive without too much trauma! LOL.

So, we made it fine to Halifax airport. I parked. I said goodbye. I went to leave. I tried REALLY hard to leave.

30 minutes later? Still trying to leave. OH MY GOD. HOW DO I GET OUT OF THIS PARKING GARAGE?! Panic is slowly setting in .. along with frustration. I'm contemplating just driving through a window. Or a gate. Finally, I stalk down a man who sort of explains it to me.

My 30 minute stupidity cost me an extra $2.00 ..are you serious?! We should adopt paying for stupidity for everyone. We'd be rich. The Halifax airport may be onto something. Oh well.

The drive home was nice .. whole day flew by, really. Learned lots of things on radio shows& got my photo of the day :)

Delightful foggy weather, eh?

Oh well .. in honor of trying to make the sun shine down on us .. here's a feel good May thing. AKA I wanted to practice something with photoshop. And then post it. Why? I have no idea. I like photos ..even bad ones. Which is apparent from some 365 photos I have ahaha

So, what is the weather like where YOU are?! Hopefully better than where I am. Come on mother nature, bring us some sunshine& mild temps! Sick of this current weather.

PS funniest search result from today?

What does that even mean?!

TMI.

My breastfeeding post got a lot of hits. Actually, it got almost 550 page views. Here is some perspective on that:

*Taken April 28th

As you can see, compared to my next highest amount of page views, that is psycho. Also, whenever a breastfeeding site picks up my blog my views skyrocket. It's fabulous even though I know those folks are hatin' on me ..who cares?! I'm getting page views. I win, breastfeeding-photo-taking-facebook-posting-them mothers. I win. Why do I win?

Because I don't care that you think I'm awful for not finding your child attached to your nipple a special moment. I stand firm in that there are LOTS of special moments in life that don't need to be publicly documented.

People have commented that my post is not funny because there are several other items up for overshare awards. I don't get how picking a broad topic& narrowing it down to a specific example makes it less funny? It does, though.

So, in honor of all those photo-taking offended mommas? I am going to create a list of other things that no one cares about except you and an immediate group of friends or family (and honestly? They probably don't care either but are required to be polite. Unlike your facebook world). Buckle your seat belts, ladies& gents. This is gonna get wild.

1. Breastfeeding, obviously.

2. Excessive details / photos of medical procedures.

3. What is coming out of either end of your / your child's body.

4. Sonogram photos. NO ONE CARES.

5. Constant status updates. Not every thought is a gem, junior.

6. How much you drank / what stupid things you did while drinking.

7. Any kind of photo that exposes more skin that is appropriate for the situation.
7A. Bikini at the beach? Socially appropriate.
7B. Bikini at the church? Jesus hates your soul.

People have also commented that I am a huge hypocrite because I dislike oversharing, yet I have a blog. 'HOW CAN THE TWO COEXIST, YOU HORRIBLE HYPOCRITICAL MONSTER?!' is something I'm frequently (aka never) asked.

Allow me to give you some time to consider (if you've been reading my blog regularly) how much you know about me? Feel free to even look back through my posts. It's not very likely you're going to see photos of me dressed inappropriately, talking about gross bodily functions, etc..
So, to you people who are AMAZED that you can write something of substance and not overshare? I present to you -MY BLOG. It's a thing of wonder& amazement. It's sheer genius and you should bow before (aka follow) it. You should praise it in the Osannas (aka tweet it) and bask in the glory of my brilliance.

Dear Woman,

You are great. Apparently, I'm the greatest though because my one post on breastfeeding has set us back hundreds of years! And people wonder why I think I'm so spectacular ..it's obvious. I have more power in my blog than any of you do ;)

So, discovering I hold lots of blogging power has led me to wonder what else I can change in the world. I wanted a great topic to follow to my boobie topic, but I was drawing blanks. Apparently being great doesn't mean you always have blog material. Also, writing about yourself is A LOT easier than writing about other things. Thinking up topics is slightly tiring, if I do say so myself. In an effort to try to help me out, I enlisted google& youtube. The result? Neither had anything of substance. So I resorted to going outside and enjoying the sunshine. Cold be damned. Here is my photo story :)

So, Mom points out that it is either smoky or foggy at all the beaches. I concur. We note this is strange. She leaves for groceries and I decide to give up on the blog& take the dog for a walk. Off we head to the Black Track. Here is the tree from my spooky shot from 365. It's less spooky in the foggy daylight.

PS all that foggy stuff is either fog or smoke. I'm still not sure which. So, we walked down& onto the Black Track. I felt like I was in a movie. There was little wisps of fog rolling across the ground. It was so neat to see. So of course, I took some photos. Here is one to show you how neat it was :)

See how cool that is? So then, the dog decided he wanted to go to the back beach. So off we went. Bye bye, black track. I love you& can't wait until you are filled with flowers for my photography! Until then, I will content myself with some berries that are trying to survive despite the crappy weather on the island. It was the lone berry on that plant actually looking like it might make it.

So, after stopping for a quick photo of the berry, we headed towards the beach. We crossed the pond and only got mildly wet. Why I love crossing through the pond, despite the gross marshy land, I will never know. My dog loves it too! So, here is a shot of the pond+ the beach. All the stuff that is fog/smoke should be water. So that will show you just how thick it was!

Mmmm marshy water. That my dog drank. And tripped into. Go Squirt. You really need to work on using those back legs better little man! So, we continued on our way, making it through the marshy land. My socks stayed dry& I stayed happy. When we got to the beach, it was such a neat sight to see all the fog/smoke rolling in! So, seeing as this was a photo op, I stopped& took another photo. I also unhooked the dog so he could roam. He's only allowed off leash at the beaches, so he was super excited.

Pretty, eh? I will admit that though I do HATE our weather 10 out of 12 months, my family has one of the most spectacular backyards ever. I really can't imagine wanting to give that up. Now, I mentioned that I let the dog go to explore. What did he find? An woman& man also taking in the sights of the fog/smoke. They were older and so sweet. They asked about my dog and said it was nice I had a hobby (photography). Then, we parted ways. Except I turned around and creepily took a photo of the woman. For your creeping pleasure, here is my piece titled 'Senior in the Fog':

Not my best work, but not bad for a quickly snapped creeper shot of a woman I had only spoken to for 2 minutes& she had no idea I took it. Ahh .. creeping. You complete me. So, the dog& I carried on ..we walked up the beach and onto the grassy path we spend a lot of time in. It's one of my most favorite spots in the world. It's so nice to lay in grass (or ..dry dirt at this time of year) and be surrounded by the ocean! We met a nice guy on a dirtbike .. he liked my dog. I didn't get a photo of them but Squirt crawled right up on him. I missed that photo op because I was getting a photo of a seagull.

Sweet seagull. So then we continued on our way to my favorite spot. Upon reaching our destination, I promptly sat my arse on the ground and stayed there. What did I do while on the ground? First, I soaked up some rays from sun. It wasn't warm, but the Vitamin D was nice either way. Then I saw the moon. I kid you not. It was just chillin' above the ocean& opposite the sun. PS I know this happens all the time, I was still really excited. So excited, in fact, that I took a photo!

Ahh.. le lune. C'est magnifique, non? Alors, apres ca ..jk. After the moon experience, my dog was running around burning off all his winter energy. He loves when it gets nice enough out that Momma will take him for walks. I know, that makes me a bad mom. I should always walk him, regardless of weather. Sorry puppy. I got some awesome shots of the pupster, I will not show them all to you. This post is already really long& most people have probably stopped reading& moved on to just looking at the photos. Which is okay too :)

My dog is the sweetest dog in all of Cape Breton. Also that photo is a gem .. something so cute about puppy tongues! So, by this point my fingers were going numb& Squirt was anxious to get back home. So, we started our trek back. I turned the camera off, only to have to turn it right back on one last time! I saw a crow. Wow ..seagulls& crows, I am amazing at capturing rare animals on film. He was flying away from the pond. Here's my end shot. I hope you enjoyed my photo story post!

It's all in the details..

Except for those times when it's not. Today, I was casually reading blogs& avoiding studying for my QPM tomorrow when I came across something interesting. This blog is all about facebook. She is giving it up for 90 days. Day 32 involved a post about breastfeeding& facebook. So, now I will tell you my thoughts on this.

I haven't had facebook since January 1st (aside from 48hrs of reactivation). I have ALWAYS thought people were way too quick to divulge too much information on the internet. Facebook was a convenient way for me to see how much my immediate friends / family / people I barely knew would divulge. Based on their facebook behavior, I deleted / limited my interactions with them accordingly. It's funny ..when I reactivated my account, all kinds of 'friends' popped up who I had totally forgotten about while I didn't have an account. And I only have 120 people on my list.

So, oversharing. What is it exactly? Thankfully, for moments like this, we have Urban Dictionary. They state:

Providing more personal information than is absolutely necessary.

Ahh and how glorious of a skill that is. Some people overshare like it's their job. I don't like those people. So, how does any of this relate to the blogger who gave up her facebook for 90 days? Well. She posted a link to Hey Facebook, breastfeeding is not obscene! (Official petition to Facebook). Click it and it will take you there. Oh my god. That is a lot of breasts.

Breastfeeding is great if that's what you want to do. So this isn't against that. But seriously. SERIOUSLY. Do people actually think it's supremely important that they are able to upload their photos of children hanging off their teets?! Sweet mother of pearl. Perhaps it's a glorious bonding moment (never being an all-you-can-eat buffet personally, I have no idea), perhaps it's the single most tender moment you share with your infant (or almost 4yr old, in the case of some parents on that group `insert face with strange look here`). I don't really care WHAT kind of awesome significance it has for you.

I have the bladder of a 2yr old. Lots of times, when I finally get to pee, it's a glorious moment for me. It involves rainbows and unicorns. It is so amazing. Seriously. Other people with small bladders MUST know this feeling?! Well. Does that mean people need a photo of me peeing on facebook? Please, please, please. Tell me you know the answer to this question?

NO.

Ahh ..if you answered 'yes', go join that group and stop reading my blog. For life. If you answered 'no', you are correct. There are lots of moments in life that are glorious, amazing, tender and fantastic. Peeing is mine. Having babies drink from boobies is theirs. Either way, it really doesn't need to be on facebook. Let's be real. When I'm peeing, my last thought is 'Gee, I should share this glorious moment in time with my readers! Honey, come here and snap a quick photo, would you?!' This is why I'm confused that so many women have so many photos of themselves in this act. Yes, it's natural. It's even fantastic and healthy for the baby. So is peeing. See? Completely analogous. If it is inappropriate for me to post photos of myself peeing on the internet (and let's make sure we're clear, IT IS), then it is inappropriate for you to post photos of your child drinking from your boob. The only appropriate facebook photo for breastfeeding I have found so far?

No need to drag your boobs onto facebook. Plus, imagine how damaged that child will be in 10yrs when they find those photos of themselves. Now, times that by fifty million when you mention that you had it up on a facebook protest group. Yeah.

If you can't stop oversharing for a random blogger, do it for the children.
Also, for people who came here for more than a rant on breasts& babies, my apologies. My blog will be updated later this evening and it will return to normal. AKA all about me. Thanks for your patience ;)

This was his reaction to being jolted by 120+ volts of electricity. Your child's reaction to millions of people seeing them attached to your breast? Significantly stronger.