My Site

September 23, 2011

Knock knock

The other day I had a very interesting experience. I was in my bedroom, rocking out to some Lady Gaga* and generally enjoying an afternoon home alone. All of a sudden, my puppy starts barking. He only barks when vagrants (or visitors) wander onto our property. So I knew I had a few possible options:

  • Another dog
  • The pheasant 
  • Some type of feline
  • The voices in his head
  • Another form of human life
So, I turned down the Gaga& ran to check it out. In my sheer excitement that it might be some type of wild animal in my yard, I forgot something important. It might be Mormons.  Dead halt. What do I do? Do I duck down behind the door& hope they didn't see me? No. We've made eye contact. Oh, snap. So I walk up the stairs with my rocking out moments a sheer memory& prepare myself to answer all sorts of awkward questions about why I don't have Jesus in my heart. Can you tell how much I am dreading this?

So they asked me if I had ever been visited by Mormons before& I say yes but not in quite some time. Perhaps the fact that my town is godless& ghetto scares them away? They laugh nervously, shift their weight& ask me if I have ever considered letting God in. I tell the story about that time I walked out of church on Christmas Eve all the way to my house in the snowy cold. It was a lovely walk& I figured if Jesus was ever going to strike me down, it would have been while I was walking alone on a dark street on his day of birth.

Hey, if I have to feel awkward being asked these questions, you can certainly bet I'm going to make them feel awkward right back! These 2 guys, however, were young (15,16)and so I felt a little bad. I managed to somehow change the topic from god. I am that good.

Here is a short summary of our topic after that initial intro-
  1. Being polite
  2. My dog& his story
  3. The water temperature
  4. The lost art of being kind
  5. The beach& how to get there
  6. If I needed any help while they were there
  7. My blog (no, seriously. I told them I'd blog about them)
An interesting 45 minute conversation ..they were very sweet so I can't say that the dread I had was entirely accurate. When it came time for them to move forward to their next victim house, there was that awkward moment where they gave me a business card for Jesus& I didn't have one to give them back for HalfPastWonderful. Sad day but it reminded me of something really important- I'm going to need some business cards. Even Jesus has some& he's been dead for 2011 years& 9 months. I am behind the times. Planning some awesome business cards later. They really would have been checking my blog to see what I wrote about them but honestly? All I can say is good things. While I don't agree with going around door-to-door trying to convince people that there is a god, these were two of the nicest kids I've ever encountered from it. I told them to go enjoy a walk on the beach& showed them how to get there because everyone in my town either already had a god or didn't want one. They were basically in a town of 0 converts. I'd love to know if they ended up taking my advice! I hope they did. They deserved a nice, relaxing day in the sun.

*I do not like Lady Gaga. I do, however, absolutely LOVE her new song You& I. I especially love that one part that goes like 'Sit back down where you belong in the corner bar with your high heels on'. Yeah. Good song. You should listen to it!

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