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May 31, 2011

16& Pregnant

-->Please be advised: blog may be messy for awhile. I am in the process of deciding if I want to change it. Feeling the need for a more summer vibe. Thanks for remaining calm in the midst of chaos. It will serve you well in your life. Dead C. 

I have no idea if I've ever written about this before, but this show sucks me in like no other. I click on MTV (which by the way, never plays music. It's just constant sucky reality shows) and suddenly it's been 6 hours since I've used any brain functions. Seriously .. what is it about this show?!

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A prime example is that right now the NBA Finals are on and I'm STILL flicking back and forth between the two of them. Normally you cannot tear me away from a Finals game ..one giant problem with these Finals? I hate both teams. I'd be happiest if the commissioner made the following announcement:

This year, because the two teams vying for the championship suck, I'm canceling the Finals. The games will still be played for entertainment and sales purposes but neither team will ever officially win. We will return next year when at least one suitable team has made it to the Finals. Who even let the Mavericks and Heat exist? We should have said no to these teams being brought into existence and for that I apologize. Enjoy the fake games and see you next year for a real Finals series!

Ahh yes, David Stern. If you were to make this an official statement, I would be eternally grateful. Until then, I will flick between a crappy Finals game and a delightfully dysfunctional pregnant teen. Oh goody ..she is about to be induced! So glad that despite everything I could have and did do wrong I did not end up pregnant that young. I cannot imagine my life.

At 16 I was teaching swimming lessons to kids of all ages and I can honestly say that I absolutely adore kids. I'm just eternally grateful I don't have an 8 year old sleeping in the next room over. Especially now that I'm watching this poor girl laying in the hospital in raging pain with contractions. Her labor lasted for a total of 17 hours. To me that is some sweet kind of hell. I want the kind of labor where it's like 'Wow! My water broke!' and then have the kid in the car. Ahh yes, 5 minutes worth of labor.

Oh, one last thing before I leave this post be - newborns are some special kind of ugly. SWEET MOTHER. No one wants to see a lot of photos of your child all covered in birth goop with a deformed head.

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Oh my next post will be on naked baby photos. I'm putting this here as a reminder for me to write it and you guys to get so excited about a (probably to some people) highly offensive post. I hope this builds the anticipation :D Enjoy your evening!

2 comments:

J Hodd said...

LOL... one of my teachers at college told us once that his kid was totally ugly when he was born, and looked a lot like an alien. We were a bit taken back by his blunt honesty hahaha...

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