I am thin. If you read my blog or have ever seen me, that is not exactly a surprise or a secret. Do you think my next comment is going to be complaining about people who aren't thin? If you do, you don't know me that well at all! I would never, ever judge someone based on their weight. I never make comments about another person's weight to them& I never would. It isn't any of my business. Why am I telling you this? So that what I have to say next doesn't seem like I deserved it for being snarky.
I'm not sure what it is about me (I'm not psychotically thin nor do I look ill), but people feel the need to make constant comments about my weight and eating habits. I have a million examples but I'll give my personal favorite from a few years ago. I will never forget this incident because I can't believe how the brains of some people function. Seriously, when I think of the following I STILL shake my head about the entire thing! First allow me to provide some background leading to the conversation.
I had spent the evening at the boyfriends. It was the next morning& it was cold. I had ballet flats with no socks on, jeans& a sweater. It was close to the end of November. I stopped in at the barns because it was a Saturday morning and they were always the best. There were lots of people around, a lesson going on& Crystal was there riding Dixie so I hopped up to ride double on the horse. We're riding around, laughing and having a good time. At that point, I worked at the YMCA as a lifeguard/ swim instructor. The woman who signed my paychecks there had a horse at the barn and she was there on this particular morning. I was saying how cold I was because I wasn't dressed properly for the barn at all. Prepared for the conversation? I don't think you are but read on anyway.
YMCA- Yvonne, maybe if you ate something you'd be less cold.
Me- Oh aha I eat a lot. I'm cold because I don't have socks on! I wasn't planning on stopping in here.
YMCA- No, seriously. Everybody at the YMCA talks about how you don't eat. We all notice it.
Me- I eat all the time.
YMCA- No you don't. The ladies during aquafit say you're constantly cold and shivering. You're too thin.
Me- Ahh ..okay. My boyfriend drops me off snacks all the time.
YMCA- Yeah and then you go into the bathroom for a long time like we don't know what you're doing. You're puking it back up. You're anorexic aren't you? Everyone thinks so.
At this point I was so mad. I got off the horse and left. Almost everyone at the barn, including barn owner, thought it was hilarious. This was a woman in a high up position at the YMCA telling me, in front of about 12- 14 people, that everyone at my job discussed my weight frequently and made negative comments about me. I don't remember anything after that comment except I came home and was SO upset. I told my mother and she wrote the barn owner an email which basically said the comments were not appreciated nor were the jokes which followed. The response that came back was basically 'Oh she didn't mean anything by what she said. No one knew Yvonne would get upset by it'.
Now let's put the shoe on the other foot. Imagine if I came in and said something like this:
Me- YMCA, you should get off the back of that horse. She can hardly walk!
YMCA- Oh she's just tired.
Me- No, seriously. You're obese. Everyone at work talks about how much you're constantly eating.
YMCA- I eat healthy.
Me- No, you don't. If you did you wouldn't be so fat. Lose some weight.
YMCA- I bring salads to work.
Me- You need to do some exercise. Seriously, it's gross. You're way too heavy.
Is this conversation somehow MORE offensive than telling someone they are too thin? Most people would say yes. The answer is no. It is equally offensive to tell someone they look sickly thin as it is to say they look sickly fat. It is NOT a compliment, funny, appropriate or even remotely polite to tell someone they look anorexic and/or too thin.
I eat. Yes, probably I eat healthier than quite a few people but not always. I enjoy treats and unhealthy meals frequently enough. I love Boston Pizza. I'm sure if you read through this blog you'll find lots of posts about me eating out and enjoying junk food. It's good for my soul to indulge in those sorts of things. Please do not ever tell someone that they look like they have an eating disorder. I'm not sure when it became okay to comment on how 'painfully thin' someone looked and yet still be offended when they returned the favor by commenting on how overweight / ugly / anything rude you are. I said nothing to the woman who said that in front of all those people& I always wonder if the message that it wasn't even slightly appreciated was passed along. I will never like this woman because of the comments that were made.
Has anyone ever had anything like this happen to them? It's crazy how often this happens to me. My friends even notice that comments are constantly being made towards my weight and my eating habits. Sorry, folks. I don't eat steak. Never had it, wouldn't like it, don't wanna try it. I'm picky. I'll eat a whole cake though if you leave it unattended for too long so if you know me at all you wouldn't be so quick to comment that I won't eat the steak because it has too many calories& too much fat in it. I have no idea the calorie or fat content in a steak. Nor do I care.