Welcome to my world. I get up, make myself a days worth of food and head into the wild world known as Cogan's Convenience. It's not so bad to start .. I put away the magazine order that came last night. I keep a few magazines to read myself and curl up in the big leather chair with the space heater beside me to keep me company. So after catching up on some various celebrities that I don't care about, customers start to arrive. Can I just say, this place should be a reality TV show?!
Odd Customer #1:
He is a regular. For a long time, I let him purchase me a tea (but always paid him back of course) thinking that he was just a genuinely nice fella. So then after about a year, he comes in and he says 'What do you suppose your boyfriend would say if you came to my house to do a little song and dance and drink some beers with me?' ...hence my now awkward encounters with him. He called me THREE TIMES this morning before I finally answered. Upon answering he says "Hi Yvonne. It's me, *******. I'm just calling to ask for the lottery numbers." So I tell him. The reason today is a noteworthy day with him? Next words out of his mouth; "Oh, and Yvonne, just so you know you look pretty with your glasses on. Just in case you were unsure. You are a pretty girl anyway though `insert creepy chuckle here`. Okay, have a good day."
WHY WOULD YOU EVEN WASTE FIVE MINUTES OF MY TIME WITH THIS STUPID PHONE CALL? Seriously.
Odd Customer #2:
Odd Customer #2 is actually a group of 4. At my store, we have a washroom for employee use only. It's downstairs where there used to be movies for rent, but is now just storage. So it's dark, and obviously not where general public should be going. These 4 storm in .. go downstairs .. the girl pees first .. then the 3 men. Then they don't wash their hands (only place to wash your hands is up behind the counter ..hence why the washroom is for employees only) and they yell at me to get them a cab. I call 3 cab companies .. they were all busy and so they leave and go to the bar next door.
Odd Customer #3:
Man comes in. Man says nothing to me and proceeds to walk around the store. I assume he is looking for something. Man comes over to my counter and says "Are you the person working here?!" I reply that yes, indeed I am! "Well do you think you could make yourself helpful and actually ask a customer what they want when they come through those doors?" ...Chill out buddy. I don't generally ask people if they need chip flavor suggestions.
Odd Customer #4:
This guy is one of the craziest odd customers. He was in today but only bought 2 scratch tickets and left, so there is little odd to report. I will, for your entertainment, quote some things he has said to me.
"I thought about you a lot while I was in prison."
"Here's my house number and my cell number, just in case you ever need to talk since we're good friends." (keep in mind, I had only spoken to him for 10 minutes over a year at the store.)
"The government paid me off because they killed my father. They wanted him dead."
He also wrote me a note PROMISING that if he wins $10,000 he will split it with Evan [sic], who I am assuming is me? Although my name is Yvonne.
And that's it for my adventures at work this morning. Oh, although Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban had a kid via a surrogate which is weird to me. How I will spend the rest of this lovely Saturday? Lazing around for a little longer .. then a core workout compliments of P90X and an Anthony Hopkins horror movie. The Rite. I don't even care if rottentomatoes gives it a 15%, I am holding out that it will be amazing. Don't let me down Sir Hopkins!!
Enjoy your weekend folks :)