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April 29, 2011


I know, What Would Jesus Do is SO old and cliche now. I'm not going to write a post about how when I make a decision I consider my godly side. Helllll no.

In this new day& age, WWJD no longer means that wimpy 'Please consult a Jesus-like thought process before moving forward with a life decision.' means:

Who Would Jesus Do?

Provide me with a list of eligible ladies and I will provide you information on which would be the most Godly sex monkey.
You're welcome.

After all, Jesus doesn't have better things to do with his time. He spends his days giving divine inspiration to those men& women trying to wade through the scum of the dating pool and guide them to their true love.

I imagine that Jesus places himself in the centre of your dating pool ..picks the 8 most promising women .. and then looks up their church attendance, time spent reciting prayers, time spent kneeling (at the pew!! God.)& takes into absolutely no consideration what you want. We all know you just make it work, even if you hate each others guts. I have a helpful diagram of how the process looks at the start-

Normally, all this would take a lot of time. Thankfully, some Christians who know Jesus reallly, realllly well have taken all the work out of it! Wow. All you have to do now is sign up to their site (Christian Mingle) and you'll be rocking out with a Jesus-loving soul mate faster than you can say the rosary! I love their slogan -

Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. - Psalms 37:4

So, I just hope you don't desire a psychotic murder who is forgiven nightly when you help him say his Hail Marys' or you know ..something else equally weird and strange. Here's to hoping you want a nice little stereotypical modest family.

God is saying 'The next move is yours. But choice right or I won't be giving my blessings to your rotten life.' Thanks, God!


Joyful Sparrow said...

lmao. thank. you. for. that. :-)

J Hodd said...

Hahahahaha how do you manage to come across these things???

Yvonne said...

No worries .. this need to constantly be separate from us regular sinners really peeves me off. There is even a godtube.

Jess - I surf the net while regular people sleep ;)